On the days my glass is ‘half-full” I go away and I doubt God.  And when I can’t doubt God, I doubt myself.  And depending on my mood, I can stay in this zone for an hour, a day, a week and lose myself completely in this spiral.  Examining: “How did I let myself down?”  “Where did I not take the road less traveled?”  “How can I transform my life?”

Or I try to create movement by telling myself:  “If I am responsible for the quality of my life, and I don’t like the life that I am living, then it is up to me.  There is no one else out there who is going to make the changes, make different choices, to make it a life worth living.  It’s my life.”

And then I start to feel the pressure build inside, trying to make things happen.  And I dig myself deeper into the pit.  And nothing changes.

On the days that my glass is half-full, what I am aware of is … nothing.  There is nothing happening in my mind.  I am simply in allowance.  I take each moment as it comes.  I find each moment as precious as the next.  I’m not even aware of taking each moment.  I simply am IN each moment.  I’ve given myself to that moment, and I move on to the next moment.  And those days just flow by.

Life fills me up to over-flowing — there is no glass half-full or a glass half-empty, it is FULL all the way up, and overflowing. There is nothing more in life beyond that experience.  There is no “Thing” that fills me up, there is no action I can take, no job, no relationship, no possession or house that I could live in that would be more fulfilling – than to live in myself and be present.