When I start to examine my Life I get into trouble.
When I compare my insides to other people’s outsides, I get into trouble.
I periodically find myself in moments of doubt, questioning the choices that I’ve made, questioning the paths that I’ve taken. Wondering if I had ‘zigged’ instead of ‘zagged’, how might my life be different? And in these moments I realize that 20/20 vision is not always to my benefit.
I can be my harshest critic, turning over rocks, peering around trees, looking into nooks and crannies, all with the intention of learning from my mistakes. Or better yet, when I look at your life and see what you have, I wonder … Did I neglect to put everything into life that I could have?
But these fugue states, thankfully, don’t come very often … times when the glass is half empty, and I am more focused of what I’ve missed out on, rather than what I’ve gained; I miss seeing where the fullness of my life lies. Going down that road leads me into the relentless pursuit of …
More. More things I could have accomplished, more opportunities I could have explored, MORE …
Yet when I find myself in the ‘moment’, when I have experiences of being completely ‘present’, completely grateful, completely devoted to the experience happening right in front of me, right in the midst of me, in THIS instance; when those moments happen I don’t have any thoughts about choices I could have made in the past or even choices about what I can do with my future. I am simply and completely present to myself.
In this moment: There is no self-doubt. There is no questioning. There is no future-tripping. And there is no wondering.
I AM good enough.