Soul Notes
Live Like You are Dying
Grief and Joy are such a part of life -- when one is in Joy, Grief is in the shadows, so one forgets how it is the sharpness of Grief that makes Joy possible. It's the pits when we are forced to remember. Yet there is something to New Life that comes with death, and the ending of a year is another form of dying to be reborn. So Happy New Year -- not with all of the bells and whistles (or the firecrackers at night)...
SPLIT SELF: Who I Am vs. Who I Should Be
For many years I studied with a teacher who shared how the nature of conditioning shapes our identity constructs. When we first arrive on the planet, even before – from the moment we chose to be conceived – the veil is very thin. We have a connection with the Divine that is so transparent that we ‘remember’ who we are and why we chose to be here. During the early years of our childhood we are blessed with an...
Outside the Whirlwind
Living Life from the “Outside In” is to live Life as part of the whirlwind. There might be momentary pauses, when the wind stops whirling, allowing us to identify experiences or events as pieces of the puzzle that comprise the whirl of our life. Yet living life from the perspective of the “Outside In” makes it difficult for us to know that there is a Center to the whirlwind, or more importantly, a Center to our...
It’s Not Mine to Do
Where does that leave ‘me’? Standing on the threshold of emptiness I realized that everything I thought I knew about me, everything thought I had, every action I took, everything that was ‘me’, wasn’t me. “It’s not yours to do” wasn't directed toward me, but toward my ego. This is where ‘you’ get off; this is where the road ends for ‘you’: “It’s not YOURS to do”. Stepping across the threshold means leaving my...
It’s Not Yours to Do
The image before me is of a doorway, standing wide open, only blackness. I don’t know what lies beyond, only emptiness, not a speck of light, not even a reflection spilling over from the space I’m standing in. There is no floor, nor walls, nothing to help orient me – no up, no down, no right, no left. Stepping through would mean leaving my sense of space and form. Standing on the threshold, I am consumed with...
Spirituality & The Whirlwind
But living life from the “Outside In” may also create a dilemma. Spiritually we may look at those same events and question: “why is God doing this to me”, “what am I meant to learn from this”, “what do I have the power to change”? We get lost in the whirlwind or become part of the whirlwind, allowing it to define who we are. As Spiritual Beings (having a human experience) we chose to live Life from the “Inside...
Birthing One’s Self
I don't have children, but I've had the opportunity to witness how older kids seem to have a harder time forgiving/forgetting, always bringing the focus back to themselves. For me, a product of my childhood, I'm reminded of the first time I came to the realization that I was responsible for who I've become. I'm responsible for my own reactions -- despite the FACT that I was abused as a child, a victim, a survivor....
We Have But One Life (to Live)
In the past I was plagued by a need to engage in mild combat with others about nothing and anything, which was often reflective of my inner state. I would get caught in the web of seeking power through defensiveness, rather than being empowered through slowing down, being in the moment, and speaking my truth. There is seductiveness to life (as viewed through the lens of the ego) in believing that the purpose of...
We Have But One Life (to Give)
When you wrote about feeling so used and betrayed, I was reminded of a way I've moved through various thrashings I've experienced in the relationship world. My default used to be to examine the other person, especially tempting if their behavior is blatantly harmful. At some point I learned to begin with me, to explore the warning signs I missed, look for the red flags that I blew past -- to inquire 'what was I not...
There is Life Out There
Took a beautiful walk today out to a point that granted an almost 360 degree view of beaches and ocean, with a forest behind me. Up a gentle slope up-hill through a glade, then into the forest of trees, past an abandoned house. Then on through a canopy of trees, opening out onto a bluff that appears to be wave swept, and is absolutely wind-swept. The sculpting of the clay shore into rivulets textured and carved...
Grace Shall Lead You
and the Universe will support you. Reminds me of the book entitled “Do What You Love, and the Money Will Follow” – although I’ve never read the book, the teaching has stuck. There have been many, many times when I ‘believed’ that lack of money blocked me from taking a leap toward my personal unfoldment. The first time was when I felt called to go on a Vision Quest – it was a lot of money to spend on something so...
Or Wear Nothing at All
If we practice being in the moment, slowing down to check in with ourselves, to feel into the center of our being, then we create more opportunities where we are in touch with our true selves. For as many moments as possible, be present and ask our Selves: "what am I feeling", "what do I know to be true", "what is real"? Or perhaps we pray and ask Spirit to help us sense into our Being. Eventually our clothes...
Changing our Clothing
Our thoughts, words, and identities, are all as changeable as pieces of clothing. They start from nothing but an idea, much like sewing together a shirt or a dress; you begin by choosing the pattern, purchase the material, lay it out and cut the pieces apart, stitching them together, you end up with a something to wear. Thoughts and words come from the same place. They began with an idea, we cut them out based on...
Standing on the Brink
The sky cleared a bit this evening -- a pale line of light outlining hills that haven't been visible for almost two weeks (hell at times I haven’t even been able to see the houses across the street!). Maybe it is a sign that the fire is dampening down -- or the wind has picked up, which isn't necessarily good news. Perhaps I'm sensitive to those in flux because I feel on the brink of a change myself -- certainly...
Peeling Off One Layer at a Time
Shedding scarves and jackets, pants and shirts are difficult. Our ego mind tenaciously holds on to its right to exist, the part of us that remembers things, replays conversations in our mind, causes we stand for, our need to be right – – unwilling to relinquish the goal of getting our way. So much of our energy and our life force devoted to efforts ‘out there’, all the different rabbit holes our mind may travel...
Thoughts are Like Clothing
Thoughts are like clothing. They often wrap around the essence of ‘who’ we are, confusing us with all the different ways in which they move. Pulling our attention from the center of our being out to all the other things we think we should be concerned with. The more we try to disentangle ourselves, they more they seem to stream around us, ever covering up what it is that truly wants to be expressed. Sitting in...
Staying in the Center
Staying in the Center may at times feel we are disconnected from our sense of self, from the world, from our purpose in Life. We may even judge ourselves as being uncaring or unsupportive of others in our Life. Yet, we become part of something unknown and unplanned, part of an ever expanding funnel that extends upward and outward. The whirlwind itself becomes the way for us to connect inward. All of the events...
Love is All You Need?
For many years I gave myself away, over and over and over. Despite numerous heartbreaks, grief and loss, I would replay the play (with different players). Eventually I came to a deep realization of how I have always loved 'him' more than myself. There was always that place within -- when push came to shove -- that I would shove myself aside, and put 'him' first. Until I couldn't any more. There was no decision not...